Protests started this past Sunday and are still going on, though from I read things have been peaceful so far.  Fortunately, there has been enough international pressure on the Maoists party to call off the threatened  closure of the country's main airport in Kathmandu on November 10.  I see this as a very good sign. But honestly, trying to understand life and politics in a foreign land half a world, a land that holds your future dreams, is not easy.

We still have no idea where all of this will lead or what the future holds. So the roller coaster ride continues. Several reports, including one from the US Embassy, say the Ministry of Women Children and Social Services is indeed working through the protests and continuing to match families and children and grant travel approvals (for those already matched), though we've heard of no new news since they've returned from the holiday over 2 weeks ago. Meaning, no new referrals have been sent out nor travel approvals. I imagine they are anxiously waiting to see see how things progress with the protests as well.

Meanwhile on the homefront here, Matt is recovering from the lovely H1N1 flu while I fight to remain healthy... so far so good;  we continue to work on our adoption educational credits;  our new deck is almost finished (!!!);  and, last night I had my first dream about meeting our child!  Unfortunately, I don't recall many details about the dream, but there was definitely a lot of excitement, and confusion, and last minute shopping for a baby supplies and a stroller -  which we were forced to  buy a pink one with butterflies on it because that's all the store had!

"may invite disaster of Himalyan dimension..."

I've been feeling relatively positive and hopeful recently that we would hear good news after the Nepal holiday season. I'm embarrassed to admit that I have not been keeping up on the brewing political situation in Nepal, and sadly I was blind-sided this morning by the headlines like the title of this post and 'Political Revolt Planned to Begin November 2', and 'U.S. Worry Over Nepal Maoists' Protest Programs'.

As I was telling my husband the news I had to hold back the tears.  Though I feel a potential breakdown coming on soon. I think back to how down we were feeling in late summer after 3 months of zero movement and news out of Nepal. Not knowing when things would resume, if they would resume, would we be waiting another few months, or years...  not knowing is the hardest part.  It's not that we expected this journey to be easy, but we certainly didn't prepare ourselves for this - a wildly unstable program. Naive? Maybe.

At the moment I don't know exactly know what all this means (for us), but in my humble opinion it doesn't sound good. It certainly will mean more delays, long delays, maybe worse.     very heavy sigh     We are left to wonder what will become of the thousands of children stuck in the middle of this peace process war, living in orphanages with no permanent family as they age. We are left to wonder the direction of our path.

Things will unfold the way they will;  it's out of our control.  That much I know. Perhaps things will peacefully workout without a revolt. No one knows right now for certain. History is being written.

For now, I will leave you with some excerpts from news articles coming out of Nepal in the last day or so (links to the full articles below):

"Be it known to all…any steps taken to sideline the Maoists by any quarters may invite disaster of Himalayan dimension, never witnessed in the recent memory, for the cornered Maoists’ have their presence in each and every districts and villages of the country and thus the scale of the impending war that they will surely wage can’t even be thought of."

"Nepal's former Maoist guerrillas, whose ultimatum to the coalition government ends Nov 1, have warned they would launch a blockade of Kathmandu valley and the Himalayan nation's only international airport if their demands are not met within the deadline."

"The announcement of fresh protests by the Maoists has sent ripples of unease across the international community."

You can read more here, here, here, and here. Oh, and here

pā-shəns is a ˈvər-chü?

Patience: the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

Waiting for the correct moment in time for things to unfold the way they are meant to, well it sucks!  It's said patience is a virtue, and in the general scope of life being patient is a very important quality, but I think who ever first came up with with witty quote was dealing with lines at the DMV (dept of motor vehicles) not waiting to have a baby.  Remembering the virtuosity of patience during an international adoption is not easy.

In my last post I mentioned Nepal has been on holiday...for the past month. As far as I know, holidays are done and things should getting back to 'business as usual' this week.  I have noticed 2 new hits from Nepal on the blog in the last couple of days, after a month of zero hits from Nepal. Hmm....

We recently received a gift for our little guy, an adorable onesie sleeper - brown, super soft and a 100% sweet. It's so cute!! After I oohed and awed several minutes over the cuteness factor of the outfit I immediately put it up to my nose and took a big inhale. Perhaps I thought it would have that sweet unique baby smell, or maybe it was because it reminded me of a Hershey chocolate bar (my all time favorite candy!)... but it had neither, just a new clothes scent.

Things are quiet here on the adoption front. Mid-Sept to mid-Oct is major holiday season in Nepal which means governmental offices all but shut down during this time. I believe things are starting to wind down this week which hopefully means things will start to pick back up with the matching process. We're really hoping things start moving again and quickly... we're mentally heading into year 2 of the process, though only month 5 since dossier submission, but with each passing day, week, month the waiting and gets harder and the anxiety builds. When you're ready, you're ready, and we are SO ready to grow our family. The saving grace at the moment is it's our busy season at the work and things have been super crazy which help take our minds off wondering when, if, when, if, when... we will be traveling to Nepal.

I recently came across this blurb which I think sums up where we are right about now:

"You are waiting to adopt a child, and your heart is soaring like an eagle. You want to let yourself feel joyful and get busy preparing for the new life that will one day join yours, but caution holds you back, especially if you are adopting internationally with the recent closing and slowing down of so many programs. Do you go ahead and share your adoption plans with friends and family? Or, are you afraid premature celebration might jinx the outcome?

The good news is that once you have made the decision to adopt, you have already made an emotional commitment. Thoughts of parenthood skip through your mind, scattered vignettes of the coming years: Your child learning to walk or ride a bike, collecting shells at the beach, or making snow angels, birthday parties, and most of all adoption arrival day. You read everything you can get your hands on about adoption parenting.

Yet, you are plagued with fear. What if something goes wrong? What if the adoption doesn't work out? What do you do then? You also might feel alone. Most do not know how to support a person who is waiting to adopt a child. My grandmother sent me a pair of white knitted slippers; the right foot was tied with a blue ribbon and the left with pink, to remind me that she was waiting with me. Once you receive a referral you get a bit kid crazy in a wild and wonderful way. Immediately you set about scanning through your favorite mail order catalog. 'Just right for a two-year-old,' you say to yourself as you thumb through the pages. Then a voice inside your head goes off, 'What if we don't get him?!?'"

I'm back.... and nesting like a brooding hen

Okay, I've given up on the whole private blog thing, for now. When the time comes and we finally meet our son perhaps then I will move on to a private blog. And for the record, I'm writing off a large part of my indecisiveness to hormones!

Since things started moving a little over two weeks ago, several adoptions completed now, something has happened to me. I've been nesting. "The uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world. Females of the animal kingdom are all equipped with this same need. It is a primal instinct. Just as you see birds making their nests, mothers-to-be do exactly the same thing. The act of nesting puts you in control and gives a sense of accomplishment toward birth. You may become a homebody and want to retreat into the comfort of home and familiar company, like a brooding hen."

I've got it bad. Over the last few weeks I've found myself scrubbing (and I mean scrubbing) floors, baseboards, showers, toilets, washing all blankets, towels, organizing, throwing crap out, rearranging stuff... almost borderline freaky. Then as I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor, for the second time, when it dawned on me...'this is what expecting mothers do! I remember reading about it once upon a time.'

The definition says, "The nesting urge can also be seen as a sign of the onset of labor when it occurs around 40 weeks of pregnancy." Try more like 48 weeks!

Going private...

To blog or not to blog has been the big question this week amongst the adoption community. I've been completely torn on this. But, begrudgingly, I'm going private today.

Apparently Nepalese officials are monitoring them. Not entirely surprising. It is the internet afterall. We kind of knew they might be (we've seen hits coming in from Nepal for sometime now), but it was confirmed this week they are indeed reading blogs . There are several families in Kathmandu now completing their adoptions who were strongly urged to remove photos of the children from their blogs.

While I completely understand and appreciate this - truly it's a safety, privacy and respect factor for all children and parents involved, nothing has been stated by anyone that we (waiting parents) should be careful what we post. I guess I just feel more comfortable keeping things a bit more... well, private. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, I hope so.

Though I feel I've posted nothing wrong, I do worry about the way things could be interpreted. Different cultures.... A shame because not only is it a great way to keep friends and family abreast of what's going on, but there are so many people out there who might be considering adoption and seeking whatever information they can get their hands on. I know I scoured the web when we started on this journey last year. Blogs are one great way to learn about the process and what's going on in a given country.

Perhaps when things quiet down, and as we learn more from those returning from Nepal about their customs and views on the blogging issue, we can go back to a public blog.

Godspeed

This morning, more good news. Three more families, I believe all to be from France, received their travel approval and are on their way to Nepal. The other families I mentioned previously are already there. Fortunately they've been able to post daily on their blogs about their experience. Pretty cool.

Spirits are high in the Nepal adoption community after this last week. I have a feeling though, and this is just my opinion, we will see things slow down a bit at the end of this month. Why? The end of Sept marks a month long holiday celebration for the Nepalese - Dashain. I believe on one calendar I Googled there are 16 individual festivals within this month long period. Can you imagine!? Apparently things pretty much shut down there during this period of time, which is why many matched families traveled so quickly this week hoping to get their paperwork/visas/etc finalized before the holiday. Wishing all the families there or on their way Godspeed.

Wow! What a week.

Today we learned a new minister, Sarba Devojhah, has been appointed at the Ministry of Women Children and Social Welfare. He was sworn in this afternoon. This has been a hell of a big week for the Nepal adoption program. Almost a little nervous to have all this good news in just 3 short days, after 3 long months of no news. ;) This is fantastic!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step!

Good news. Three families, so far, were officially notified today to pack their bags... they're going to K-k-k-kathmandu. Like this week!!

Ahhhh, deep breathe....... I can't even begin to tell you how happy this makes me to hear this news. Though I am a teeny bit panic-stricken thinking of traveling more than 1/2 way around the world on two days notice. Better start working on that packing list now.

So, what does this mean for us? Well, we continue to wait. We still have a long road ahead of us. I definitely don't see us traveling this year. Our hopes are that it will be in the first half of 2010, but no guarantees. For now, we'll watch closely as these families pave the way for the rest of us who are waiting. And tonight, we send a virtual toast to them! I'm certain they are smiling ear to ear as they hold their travel approval letter in one hand and their child's photo in the other - they are on their way to Nepal!

(Late last week I received a gift from one of my oldest & dearest friends (pictured above). Quite timely I think. It reads, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step" by Lao Tzo. So true! Hmm, wonder if he was talking about the adoption process when he wrote this?! ;-)